m & m's

There are few things more succulent than hard, cold butter on a warm cinnamon bun, NJ style, with walnuts and raisins on top. The cold fattiness and warn, soft sweetness. Ahhh, my! And, if you microwave your sticky buns, the underside of the butter melts, giving you 'butter juice' to be sopped up the sticky bun crumbs or scooped up with fallen raisins. Cinnamon rainsins in butter! Does it get much better?

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I've been a busy bee since I returned home from my month-long 'haitus' at Mom and Dad's. I unloaded the car and put the trunk back to its usual state. Inspected all of my recent clothing purchases. If I don't get that job, there'd best be a lot of weddings or funerals for me to attend in the next two years! I've done a little grocery shopping and completed some home/errand tasks that had been waiting. I did not yet 'stoop' to cleaning the bathroom. As usual, that can wait!

I had high-speed internet, new cable and phone services started before I went down to South Jersey to be with the folks. This means my phone and cable lines now come in through different jacks in the LR and so I have an opportunity to rearrange the living room.

This is exciting for me. I love to rearrange rooms. I used to rearrange my bedroom every couple of weeks when I was a kid. I guess it gives the child of an alcoholic a sense of control over something, huh? I found it interesting this evening to recall that, I'd be most likely to change my room layout following a fight in the family, usually between my mother and father. When I was 16, they talked of divorce. I was a rearranging fool!

Isn't it interesting that I should have such an urge to change my LR around now? I've not only begun considering different layouts, tonight I actually measured the dimensions and drew a mini blueprint. Now, I'm in the process of measuring the furniture and cutting out little diagrams to try out different positions. It's a good thing the apartment beneath me is vacant right now. Up at two o'clock AM and hitting every piece of squeaky floorboard in the space, with Sadie thinking we're playing a game with the measuring tape!

Bottom line: not only do I revert to old, familiar and comfortable coping mechanisms during or following times of stress, my compulsive tendencies kick in as well. It's a good thing I'm not partnered or I'd be driving someone absolutely nuts right about now.

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Speaking of stress, I go back to work next Monday, something I'm both dreading and looking forward to. There are a lot of terrific people, primarily women, where I work and I've missed the regular support of some of these fine folks. The down side is that I realize I'm very close to the flash point with bedside nursing. I keep feeling as if I'd have less and less to lose if I just said, "Screw it," ( or a facsimile) and walked out. I know I need to soon leave either bedside nursing or leave the ED where I've been practicing for almost 3 years. So, keep your fingers crossed for me about the EDIS position!

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Once again, two Lunesta and here I am so I'm soon heading for the third.

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Great music selections tonight:
Etta James' Seven Year Itch
Priceless Jazz Collection Sampler with: -Billie Holiday---Ella---Louis---John Coltrane---Sonny Rollins---Charles Mingus---Duke---and Chick Corea-
Nina Simone's Saga of the Good Life and Hard Times and
The soundtrack from Warming by the Devil's Fire

So, even though I'm not yet alsep, it's been a relaxing evening and there really is no place like home.