Miscellaneous Musing of MadMom and Mutt

I've been a little busy the past couple of days trying not to notice the void left by the passing of my father. Besides, I figured I've depressed enough people recently and (Sadie on Her Throne)
shouldn't press my luck
right now.

On my old MSN space, I sometimes posted random, usually late-night thoughts, usually with the caveat that some of them may disappear with the morning light, and a fresh influx of judgment. I guess this is my first in the series here at MM & M. Let's see...they were called Pie Crust Crumbs on MSN...guess I'll have to label them Dogs with Bones or something similar here at MadMom and Mutt. No...M&Ms!

(Pssst...look to the right of my knees in the photo to see my HS graduation picture! ROFL!)
~~~~~
I am MadMom because that's my original internet name. I started out on AOL in 1993, playing in the Game Parlors. Boy, do I miss those games and those people. There's only one person from the old Parlor days I still keep in touch with. His name's Pete and he's a research librarian in Tennessee...a lovely man and a good, if slightly lewd, soul. I sure do love him!

The first time I entered a Game Parlor, I had chosen the name MADMOM, not realizing I was being rude. Mind you, I was raised to be anything but rude. Ours was a "children don't speak unless spoken to" household. I was mortified to learn I was shouting and so eliminated my caps, meaning I couldn't use the name MadMom for 6 months. Thus, MadMom2 was born. Anyone you've seen with a MadMom name since 1993 is a poor imitation. I am the real thing.

And, it should be taken as either a takeoff on the Mad Max movies or a suggestion that I'm a little left-of-center, erm...unique. Yeah, unique. That's the ticket! It has nothing to do with anger. My son was 13 in 1993 and, thank God, he was (still is) a great kid. I had very little reason to be mad at him. He was a tad put out at first that I used a name which involved him, even indirectly. Now, twice as far along in his life, he's finally gotten over that. When I switched to a high-speed internet aprovider recently, he was fine with my continuing to use MadMom2 at dot-dot-dot. He's grown up a bit.
~~~~~
The mutt in question is Sadie, my intrepid canine pal. My last dog, Patches, was an Akita, a pure breed with resultant chronic health problems. Humans aren't the only species to suffer from inbreeding. I had Patches for 6 years and finally had to have her put down in March of 2004 at age 12. By November, I had healed enough to allow another dog into my heart. I found Sadie at a nearby no-kill shelter. She'd been there for four months without being adopted. When we met, my first thought was, "This is one of the ugliest dogs I've ever seen!" I have, of course, revised my opinion.

Sadie is a Chow Chow, Rottweiler, Shepherd mix, weighing in at about 55 pounds. After Patches, I was determined to get a dog I could possibly carry out to the car by myself if necessary. Okay, so I might have to take a few breaks on the steps lugging Sadie, but it is conceivable. Sadie is named after my Aunt Sadie, who was my secret favorite aunt when I was a child. Aunt Sadie was round and loving and gave wet kisses and bear hugs, which I pretended not to like. I loved it. I think Aunt Sadie is pleased.

Sadie had only one owner before me, so I know her exact birthdate and her full medical history. She turned five on January 16th and is as healthy as a horse! Her ears are way too large for her head and she has a funny knob at the end of her tail, but she has the most soulful brown eyes. We are definitely in love, and this is the real thing!

As is obvious from her photo, Sadie is a princess. Mind you, I am the alpha bitch, but Sadie makes sure she gets the adoration due someone of her stature.
~~~~~
Finally for today, I can't leave without mentioning a few things about my Dad and his recent death. My Mom, brother and I waded through old family photos last evening, trying to come up with a nice collage for Dad's service. What a lovely meander down Memory Lane. One of the pictures I'd really hoped to find, though, we were unable to locate. We had horses when I was a kid and my Dad loved them! I know, somewhere in this house, is a photo of Dad on his horse, Belle. I think he might be a little sad we weren't able to find it. But we found many other great, old pictures...Dad the cool teenager with his buds, our family vacations at the Jersey shore, Dad's first car, Dad with us as babies. Dad will be happy, overall.

For weirdness around Dad's death, I offer the following. I've recently developed a taste for adagios, with Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings being my favorite. In the last week of Dad's life, I would play my adagios CD and he would immediately relax. He needed that and we needed to be able to do that for him. It's such a powerless feeling when someone you love is dying.

On Friday, when my Mom called me to say she didn't think Dad was breathing, Barber's adagio was playing on the CD player. It was almost as if God wanted me to know that Dad had died peacefully and connected to me. We were cut from the same cloth, my Dad and me. This small token was a comfort to me.

Final weirdness...the day my Dad died was exactly half of his birthdate...born on 6/20, died on 3/10. Somehow, this feels significant. I don't know why. Sure is weird, though.
~~~~~
Time to go shop for outfits for the funeral. I've decided I'm going to get a really nice professional outfit for Dad's memorial service, probably complimented by a splash of an 'inappropriate' color for a memorial. If, as I hope and (I think) reasonably expect, I'm selected for the new EDIS RN position in my Emergency Department, I'll need some new clothes. I've been wearing uniforms or scrubs for over 20 years and prefer jeans, shorts, tees, etc. when not working. Although I can come up with something appropriate when called for, I'll need a much expanded wardrobe for this position. I figure I'll go buy something really nice at Talbot's or Ann Taylor and always remember Dad when I wear this outfit for work. Now, to figure out the color, I'll obviously need shoes, accessories...

Ooooo...and I have a therapy session with Rowena tomorrow! Woo-hoo!

Life goes on, and ain't it grand?...