Nothing Big

I know the world is waiting with bated breath for my next installment on the issue of race. ; )

I've got no time for anything serious tonight, though. It'll just have to wait until tomorrow. Have I mentioned that I'm a Pisces? And I'm no cusp version...I'm smack in the middle of the sign. Nothing wishy-washy about my Piscean procrastination. Why do tomorrow what I can put off indefinitely?

I left Mom and Dad's today and headed home. While it's good to be back in my own environs, it was very stressful nonetheless. Why should it be so difficult to return to my own space? It's not as if Dad ever lived here. I think my folks visited maybe three times in the 2 1/2 years I've lived here.

I'm afraid my folks and I became a somewhat estranged when I started seeing a woman in 2000 and came out to them. Ultimately, only my father, son and daughter-in-law ever met the woman I moved 100 miles from "home" to live with. Dad was always very accepting that way, of everyone. It's not that he really wanted me to be a lesbian. He just took things as they came. For Dad, it was, "Okay. So you fall in love with women. We'll deal with it."

A cute story about my dad: We were driving together from Reading to South Jersey shortly after I came out to my parents. Midway, Dad asked, "So, which one of you is the "man?" That was my dad. He could accept, at face value, a concept he so little understood because he loved me. I explained to Dad that it wasn't like that, unless the women wanted it to be that way. I reassured him we did not have a "man" and "woman" character in our relationship. I wonder which one he was afraid I'd be...

My mother cried. Of course, I started therapy around the same time (with a different therapist than the one I'm seeing now...the first was totally ineffective, or else I just was totally unreceptive at the time). I'm sure I had a lot of anger. And I admit I presented it to them as a "like it or lump it" proposition. By the time GF #1 was out of the picture, Mom was much better. By the time I'd been dating GF #2 for a couple of months, we went out to dinner together. After that, she was also invited to holiday celebrations. Old dogs can learn new tricks.

I was hyperkinetic in an anxious sort of way when I got home. I spent the first hour or so jumping from one thing to another...emptying the trash, straightening up, going through mail. I didn't feel satisfied by any of the tasks, however. I finally called Rowena (current therapist...happy, almost two-year relationship! ; ) to see if she had anything left this week...she got me in for Wednesday. This will make three Wednesdays in a row, but I feel like I need it right now. Funny, I was a lot less anxious after I set up that appointment.

I've therefore spent the evening playing around with my HTML. I put the link there just so everyone knows I'm not doing anything dirty. I am so very tickled with my blog and myself! This stuff is very fun and (I think) I seem to be catching on fairly well for someone with no training. Tonight, I learned how to indent things so I no longer have things hanging halfway into the blog section. Then I went down the script for my sidebar and tidied it up...evened up all the lines, got rid of script going off to the right into the ether. Does this mean I'm becoming a geek? Will I have a pocket protector soon? Do geeks still have pocket protectors? I do have a jump drive. Are jump drives the new pocket protectors?

So, my theories on the races and contemporary American culture will have to wait until another day...